Exhibit 1.3.5

Recycled Content

So I have no car and I'm pretty sure I'm dying, but that didn't stop Laura Eve and I from live tweeting Star Wars: A New Hope. Here it is, the laziest blog post yet from a guy who sometimes just posts pictures of his dog.



* Going to live-tweet Star Wars with @hoostown. I recommend you unfollow me now just like the Rebel Alliance unfollowed Emperor Palpatine.

* Laura Eve guest tweet: Live-tweeting Star Wars with @AdamWPeterson instead of working on my fan fiction piece, "What If Luke Had Picked Up Those Power Converters." *

* Instead of "A New Hope," Lucas should have changed the subtitle to "Star Wars: A PowerPoint with Robots."

* O really, Luke, "sand people are the worst?" Might be time to turn off the Fox News.

* When Alec Guinness says "evil" it has 8 syllables and takes 18 seconds. Usually he's not even done saying it when he has to say it again.

* "We don't serve their kind here." Tatooine is all racists and scrap yards. It's the Mississippi of the Star Wars universe.

* For a decade I've been trying to work "I find your lack of Faith Evans disturbing." into a casual conversation. Preferably on a date.

* I just created my own Star Wars special edition. For about 15 minutes while they're in hyperspace, the movie becomes Rush videos on YouTube.

* I will now live-tweet this Jell-O mousse cup I took a chance on at the supermarket: heavy pudding.

* I'm not saying Darth Vader is a micromanager, but I'm pretty sure he sewed the Death Star's curtains.

* Of course the garbage monster on the Death Star has a name. Also, a backstory. Also, the worst slash fiction ever. http://bit.ly/cB1dpE

* The Storm Trooper training manual includes only one rule: always say "Blast 'Em" before shooting. It's like the Empire's Miranda rights.

* Did Obi Wan really follow through on becoming more powerful after his death? Seems like he sort of just died. Same question, Jesus.

* Despite the planet-destroying starship one guy with a bo staff guards the Rebel base. Still, that system did keep my parents out of my room.

* Luke is a cocky pilot for someone who let C-3PO drive earlier. Vader lost to a guy who throws the keys to a talking little league trophy.

* Laura Eve guest tweet: Luke & Leia making eyes at each other but still not hooking up at the end of the movie makes a pretty good argument for waiting. *

And Star Wars is over. I look forward to going back and revising these tweets with new special effects in 2027. [screen wipe]

Exhibit 16.27

Uninteresting Domestic Note

I either have the best recycling service or the worst recycling service, and it's impossible to tell which. Here's what I know: every week when I put out my recycling it's gone when I get home. So I have the best recycling service, right?

Here's what I also know: it doesn't matter when I put out my recycling or when I come home. When I put it out in the morning, it's gone when I come home from lunch. When I put it out after lunch, it's gone when I come home at 5:00. So I don't have a recycling service as much as I have people in my neighborhood who steal my empty ginger ale bottles, right?

Honestly, I'm happy either way.

Exhibit 15.7

I'm just going to go ahead and reuse last year's resolutions:


New Year's Resolutions

1. Post more. Dropping under 20 a month is just embarrassing.
2. Take stairs to office. Initially I wrote "Take stares to office." I'll do that one, too.
3. Start reading Ward 6. That doesn't really need an explanation.
4. Make more salads. It's not that I feel like I don't eat enough salad as is, it's just that I feel like I need at least one diet related resolution.
5. Stop spending 6 hours per day thinking about Bill Parcells.
6. Train dog. I'm not sure what to train her to do though. Possibly to eat all the extra salad I'll be making.
7. Use spell check. I'm serious this time.