Exhibit 1.5.14


* If I'd never worked a job, I probably would doubt the authenticity of this guide to 90s slang from Express. But I have worked a job and, yep, someone got paid to do that. My only regret is that it wasn't me.

* My favorite similar corporate awareness vacuum was a branding guide full of charts explaining what celebrities a bank was like (Anderson Cooper) and not like (Madonna) with detailed reasons for why. So basically the bank wanted to be an asexual silver fox in favor of more traditional bra designs instead of, you know, a bank.

* Here's Brett:

* In the last two days on Twitter I've made a somewhat obscure Juliana Hatfield joke and a League of Women Voters joke. O, and one about Rizzoli and Isles. Feeling pretty proud of myself. Might just have to quit while I'm on top.

* The Cupboard, by the way, is now on Twitter here. Follow.

* That's all I've got. Unless you want to talk about Game of Thrones. No? Fine.


Exhibit 1.5.13


I tried to take the most cliched picture of rural decay I could. Do try to hum a John Cougar Mellencamp song while looking at it please.


Exhibit 1.5.12

Did the Huffington Post Change?

No, no it did not.

I love this lady's face, by the way. She could be contemplating anything--war, the loss of a parent, a particularly difficult trigonometry problem--but, nope, it's her lack of a husband due inevitably to her permanent consternation.


Exhibit 1.5.11

Today In Misguided Stock Photography

O, Huffington Post, don't ever change.


Exhibit 1.5.10

A Primer on the Rules of Cricket, Pt. 5

41. Should a rowdydown turn mortal succession shall proceed Lillywald-fashion lest the blondest heir is found to be a papist. In consequence, the fight shall resume till such time as an appropriately fairheaded scion can be birthed.

42. Each batsman may propose one treaty of which can be live no less than six signatories from each side. Upon ratification, the treaty shall be enforced upon penalty of Hostage.

43. Enforcement of the Treaties shall be made the domain of the Council whose seats shall be the highest and made of a wood of a density greater or equal to cherry lest a treaty specifically change the terms of their leisure.

44. Gwyneth Paltrow.

45. Given the dimensions of the pitch, a astrolabe need be procured for the buryment of the King's Coin. Though it has not happened recently, should the Coin anger The Dragon, play shall procede after a Heroe's Queste in the bygone style not ending until rise of the tumulus and the remarriage of the widow however many fortnights. Should the widow choose not to remarry or should no players remain alive from either side or in the event The Dragon wins by swallowing the Coin, the sport shall be ended and the ground salted without need of an astrolabe.

46. At such a time as The Bafflement the sides shall be halved and halved again, with new Banners produced during the Recess and raised upon commencement. Should sides split beyond the number of players, new players shall be procured and new armorials created. Colors too should necessity arise.

47. Should it come to pass that each player plays only for themselves they shall be rechristened families and the field shall be rechristened town. Each player should achieve a trade though this shall not be the end of the game but the beginning of a new one.

48. No rules shall be made pertaining to the angle of despair only that it should be looked upon and lamented.

49. A four bowl must be called a demi-cannon though the first to say it must be an orphan with the compliment seconded by the procurement of a loaf of pudding for all surrounding rapscallions to enjoy beneath the bleachers. Upon completion of the compliment, the orphans shall form their own team, The Ragamuffins, who shall compete only to disrupt the honor of their betters.

50. Forthwith the Littlest Lord shall be allowed to serve as a wicket though should any ball come in contact with him the game shall cease lest it be his moon's day feast in which case any ball not coming in contact with him will be called A Necromancer's Eye and gifted to the lepers to be boiled to tincture.


Exhibit 1.5.9

The Flasher

Of the 20 images that come up when you search for 'the flasher' on my favorite stock photography website--favorite because it's mostly strange Scandinavian people doing strange Scandinavian things--that one is my favorite.

The Flasher can be had here or here.