Exhibit 1.1.3

New Cupboard

"Everything’s like this.”


Explanations

by Andrew Borgstrom
Now Available

1 tape-bound volume
Book Design and Cover by William Todd Seabrook

$15/year subscription, $5/individual

Explanations by Andrew Borgstrom is now available from The Cupboard. It will explain all some things.


*ABOUT THE VOLUME*
Explanations is self-explanatory—extra-explanatory, even. A collection of disembodied voices commenting only upon themselves, it is a work of explanation and justification. It is a work of self-defense against an accusatory world.

From “A Soldier Explains Enlistment (and Hope):” They paint your face into the landscape. (Before I answered their call, my hope never came from paintings that captured a sky in perfect color)…

Read more excerpts here.


*ABOUT THE AUTHOR*
Andrew Borgstrom lives a $6.90 ferry ride from Seattle as a stay-at-home dad. His recent work appears in Sonora Review, Birkensnake, and Abjective. He is the associate editor of Mud Luscious Press and can be found in the Matted Welcome Desert.


*SUBSCRIBE*
A year’s subscription to The Cupboard covers 4 volumes and costs $15. Subscribe here.

Individual volumes, including past volumes from Louis Streittmatter, Mathias Svalina, Caia Hagel, Michael Stewart, Joshua Cohen, and Amanda Goldblatt are available for $5.

Exhibit 20.1

Why I'm Moving to Houston

So it's occurred to me that my feigned reluctance to write about myself might have left you, dear reader, with no explanation for why I'm moving to Houston. Because a person needs a reason to move to Houston. This conversation never happens.

Me: I'm moving to Houston.
You: Awesome, now I'll have a place to crash.

But there are a dozen or so cities you could substitute in there and have it work if not create the typical conversation that occurs when you announce your move to, say, Austin.

Me: I'm moving to Austin.
You: Awesome, now I'll have a place to crash.
Me: Do you think I'll meet Spoon?

A move to Houston, on the other hand, usually leads to this:

Me: I'm moving to Houston.
You: Why?

So why, then, other than that I don't want to meet Spoon or wear ironic belt buckles am I moving to Houston? This craiglist posting is why:

I have a screenplay that I need expanded into a book. This is an action/high tech/terrorism story
Sorry, Britt Daniel, but I'm moving to Houston to do the novelization of an unproduced screenplay with action/high tech/terrorism elements. I'm hoping I can just use the novel I'm currently working on since it already has those elements plus several others. So there you go. Now you'll be able to come to Houston and sleep on my beautiful couch paid for with 40% of the profits from next year's bestselling action/high tech/terrorism/dog memoir/cook book/vampire/dance competition/steampunk/ultra-terrorism/coming-of-age novel.

Exhibit 19.24

So while I'm trying to finish this thing I've been working on I've been pretty much useless as a person, a blogger, and--less noticeable a drop-off--a tennis player. That's not going to change today. Sorry. This is the best I've got:

Things that should exist but don't
A mid-level Black Cherry soda. I don't even know if I like Black Cherry soda, but it puzzles me that it's exclusively produced as either a 2-liter 79¢ store-brand product or as an expensive gourmet glass-bottled product for your average soda bon vivant. I don't know why I'm worried about a particular flavor's market segmentation, but these are the thoughts I have when I get lost in the soda aisle at the Hy-Vee.

Things that do exist but shouldn't
Music from a band that featured both Neil Young and Rick James.

Well, you can add 'In The Mynah Birds' to your list of things Neil Young and Rick James have in common. Alphabetically, it should go between 'Have Been to Cleveland' and 'Love Black Cherry Soda.'

Since they share a song writing credit, I like to imagine Neil Young and Rick James sitting around Toronto in 1966 throwing out ideas.

James: I think we should add more cat growls.
Young: Cat growls are about the horrors of Vietnam.
James: Let's finish the song at the Tim Hortons.
Young: Word.

These are also the thoughts I have when I get lost in the soda aisle at the Hy-Vee.

Exhibit 15.23

This post exists only to get my numbering system back in order. You may have some questions about this, and I'll do my best to answer them.

Why do you have a numbering system?
I don't know.

Why doesn't anyone ever point it out when you mess up?
I don't know.

Who actually cares that it's messed up anyway?
I don't know.

I hope this provides you the necessary reassurances in the infallibility of the systems of man in order for you to continue on your day with the minimal amount of worry.

Exhibit 6.8

I don't know when I took on my dad's love of having unused lights turned off, but it's undeniable now that this trait has been passed down (I have also acquired very concrete ideas about how tire pressure should be constantly monitored).

I want to say that my father and I have different reasons for wanting the lights off. Rather than the fear of a vaguely higher electric bill, I'm trying to protect the environment by making sure the resources of a 1-bedroom apartment in Lincoln, Nebraska, are most optimally being utilized. I don't want to melt ice caps or take the tops off mountains in order for us to use our large television as a nightlight. When we leave our computers on all night because the dogs like the pretty colors of the screensavers, when we buy more lamps because they look nice, when we turn on all these new lamps because they look even nicer, well, these things make me sad.

I want to say these things, but it's hard to explain this when I'm yelling at you to off the lights when you leave a room.