Exhibit 18.6

This morning there was some graffiti in my office's parking garage stairwell. It said something like "Smoking Nugs/Shooting Pigs," and there was a woman from a different office reading it when I came down the stairs.

Woman: That's just horrible.
Me: (stops to read) What's a nug?
Woman: I know what a pig is and that's sick.
Me: Do you think it means smoking like cigarettes or smoking like killing?
Woman: My niece's husband Larry is a cop.
Me: I'd think drugs, right, but since the next line is about killing cops maybe smoking here means smoking like killing. Like, could it have the same meaning if it said 'smoking nugs and cops'?
Woman:
Me: But it's pretty specific about the shooting, too. You know, I think it must mean smoking like cigarettes. But now we're back to nugs.
Woman: Poor Larry.
Me: Hey, I bet Larry would know what 'nugs' are! Let's ask him.
Woman: We should ride up on separate elevators.

Clearly I should have just talked to L. Kent.

Anyway, thank god I didn't catch the kids while they were doing this.

Me: Hey, what are nugs?
Kids: Back off before we smoke you.
Me: Now when you say smoke...
Kids:
Me: Let's ask Larry!
Kids: This imaginary conversation is not chronologically consistent with your previous imaginary conversation.

Damn kids.

Exhibit 15.16

Local uber-critic L. Kent has an article out today headlined, "Marijuana has taken a place in the music world."

First line: "Marijuana may no longer be exclusive to musicians."

Jesus, L. Kent, the rest of us are trying to have a city here. You're making us look bad in front of the cool towns. I really hope Portland doesn't see this.

Look, I don't care about marijuana one way or the other, but I do care about newspapers and print media as a vital part of American democracy. Or I did. This doesn't really seem to be upholding that (or any) standard. From now on I'm getting my news from Facebook status updates like everyone else. Speaking of which, did everyone hear Tina's cat is sick and Adam is cold? Good.

I would actually think this was some kind of very clever anti-drug initiative--hell, after reading that article I don't even want to listen to Bob Dylan ever again--except that L. Kent is down with the Wu-Tang Clan (or at least Ghostface Killah). Clearly the man's got street cred.

I really want to email him to ask how he decided which Kottonmouth Kings song to use. Couldn't he have just said 'ALL'? Oh, or if he hears from any artists who want to protest their inclusion on his list. I'd say Tom Petty has a pretty good case for "Mary Jane's Last Dance" not being about pot.



Note: This post is a reaction to a local news story and is in no way a statement about the use, legality, or perceived 'coolness' of any drug. Adam is too cold to get fired.