5.04.2009

Exhibit 18.15

Stock Photography Review

Rain

This was one of the first images that came up in a search for 'rain' with the results sorted by most popular. This led to the following revelations:

1) I've stumbled upon a stock photography service based in the Dune universe
2) Long, flowing ribbons are back (finally!)
3) Marketers have finally realized what we all want: futuristic athletes posing before a post-apocalyptic background wearing anachronistically normal tennis shoes
4) I'll buy what this image is used to sell (presumably frozen yogurt. Oh, please God let it be frozen yogurt)


Finally, an image appropriate for my stick-based implements store. I was tired of using that one with the gold-shorted ribbon guy. By the way, we're having a special on tree trimmers this week. Just saying.


Harold understood why his parents didn't want to pay for the plastic bubble, but he wasn't sure they understood about pathogens or the nature of his immuno deficiency when they gave him the raincoat and umbrella for his birthday. Later, they'd all watch the John Travolta movie again, and he'd be sure to cough at the key parts. Of course, he'd be coughing anyway. Next year for his birthday he wanted to still be alive.

When the time came, his father insisted he buried in the raincoat. He loved that thing, his father said. That and that one movie with John Travolta. God, he always made us watch that movie.


Yep, Dune universe.


Hey, that's not how rain works!


Hey, that's not how rain or lightning work!


Hey, that's not how rain or boots or baby ducks work!


This is how British people work.


Everyone agreed the phalanx was cute. Too cute? Well, that was for General Mittens to decide when he got back from the gumdrop store. They assumed the Germans would wait.

4 comments:

Dusty said...

Common misunderstanding regarding the English language:

"lightening" = present progressive form of the verb "to lighten," i.e. to make more cheerful or bright, or less heavy.

"lightning" = noun referring to those zig-zags in your sixth photo there.

Get it right, genius.

A. Peterson said...

Oh, come on. I typed it and ran spell check. What else do you want from me, professor?

My only regret is that such a humorless comment gets published without your real name. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Dave Madden.

On the other hand, thank you. I'll fix it.

Dusty said...

That's Dr Dave Madden to you, sir, despite the 10-12 months I have left.

jimStock said...

OOhh I get it...some sort of neo-classicist 'Purple Rain' in gold shorts.
Sort of a sham-wow version of Prince for those needing a more edgey accounting reports summary meeting.