Exhibit 5.8

Real football recap.

This season could not have gone any worse for my two "real" "teams" but thankfully my fantasy teams have been picking up the slack. I'm one more bad Dolphins loss away from starting to send messages to the Dolphins front office like, "Hey, maybe you should have traded for Randy Moss." I'll even write the messages on dollar bills from my fantasy football winnings to prove my point(s).

My point(s): They could have had Randy Moss for nothing/Some kid in Nebraska won a couple bucks playing fantasy football and he wants to spend his money tormenting the Dolphins

Miami Dolphins (0-12)
Here's my take on going winless over the season: Since about week six when people actually started talking about this, I've been of the opinion that a win was inevitable. This happens every year in one way or another, and the commentators and columnists work themselves up over a near impossibility until a team wins or loses or a record doesn't get broken and we all remember that it's a hard game won as often with luck as skill.

Take a look at this article. It's a few weeks old, but the gist is that the Dolphins are not only not the worst team of all-time but they aren't even the worst team in the league and sooner or later they'll win a game because they can't continue to be unlucky forever. Basically this guy justified with statistics what I'd believed and probably told you about if you were ever unfortunate enough to mention the Dolphins around me.

This doesn't make me feel better. I want to make that clear. I bring it up not to say the Dolphins aren't the worst team in the league--they are--but to illustrate that even though statistics, logic, and history all insist that the Dolphins will win one game this year, I'm no longer certain it will happen.

The similarity between a quest like the Patriots' quest to go undefeated and the Dolphins quest to go, well, defeated is that both are the kind of epochal events that deep down we want to see happen. Historically good and historically bad become markers of an era and barometers for the future and it's in everyone's interest to see these dramas played out as even if a team comes up short it can invigorate the game. There's no great conspiracy here, but it's no accident the Patriots got every call towards the end of last Monday's somewhat tainted win over the Ravens and that the Dolphins have lost twice as many games by 3 points or fewer (6) than the next closest team.

It's not about the refs for the Dolphins--though, in a few games, it sort-of was--it's about every other team wanting to avoid the ignominy of losing to an 0-12 team. It's a powerful motivator which tends to create what we usually call luck.

Team MVP: Old Chicago's Double Deckoroni pizza. They haven't won since I've started ordering this, but it is delicious.

Team LVP: Um...

Coach: Let's just say I no longer feel so great about the Cam "Cameron" Cameron reign. Now, I'm not saying they should fire the guy after only one season, but it now has to be in the discussion. I don't know if there is anything more emasculating to an NFL coach than to get fired as head coach and then come back as an assistant coach--we should ask Gunther Cunningham--but I'm now fully on board with trying to retain Cam as an offensive coordinator with a new head coach. I know that won't happen. I know a lot of things won't happen.

Nebraska Cornhuskers (season over)
There's a new coach with a great slogan so they've got that going for them. Bo Big Red should be interesting if nothing else. I hope after our next K-State victory he goes and punches Bill Snyder. I know Bill Snyder is no longer the coach, I just want him to do it anyway.

MVP: Marlon Lucky? I guess. Maybe I'm forgetting someone, but I honestly have no idea who to put here. It's not that Lucky, Keller, Purify, and Ganz didn't all have their moments, but no one really took over for this team. In other words, they went 5-7.

LVP: Let's just say I knowingly didn't put any defensive players on that list of performers.

Coach: The newspaper headlines write themselves here. Bo Big Red! Bo Knows Defense! Bo Bridges Crimson Tide! And, even if it doesn't work out, the Custer County Chief can run with the headline 'Broken Bo'.

I could do this all day.


Fantasy recap coming tomorrow.