Exhibit 12.2

This Palin pick is a bit of disaster for McCain, right? It really seems like the only logical reason to pick her would be to A) Appease social conservatives and B) Try to attract Hillary voters. Fair enough except:

-Nobody gives a damn about social conservatives this election (or, really, any election when the economy is bad).

-She's adamantly pro-life, pro-guns, and pro-beauty pageants. Which of those things is supposed to appeal to these alleged armies of disaffected Hillary voters? Oh, right, she's a woman. Well, that settles it then. If I know women--and I don't--they love nothing more than being pandered to by old, white grandfather figures.

-It completely undercuts any arguments he wants to make about experience. She was mayor of a town of 8,000 people and has been governor for less than two years. Um, good luck with that. The worst part is, since he's the one who opened this argument in the campaign, the Democrats are going to be able to bring it up without looking sexist.

-She has an ongoing corruption scandal that apparently involves her office going out of their way to fire her sister's ex-husband. This is under investigation by an independent committee...um, like, right now.

-Her resume outside of politics is pretty laughable in the context of Obama, Biden, and even McCain himself. Not to be an elitist about it, but she makes Pawlenty look like a Nobel laureate. Being a journalism major at the University of Idaho is great and all--Go Vandals!--but having a varied career as a fisherwoman and a sportscaster before getting into small town Alaska politics isn't going to play very well to the glass ceiling breaking Hillary supporters or, really, to anyone else.

-Mainland Americans don't like Alaska. Or the film Mystery, Alaska.

-She's going to look John McCain's daughter standing next to him. Or worse. (For what it's worth, McCain has a child five years older than she is).

That said, she does seem like a fun lady in that crazy Alaskan sort of way, and, though I've never heard her speak, one assumes she has some charisma and intelligence. Her debate with Biden is going to be a bloodbath and she has more than a little Dan Quayle potential, but it's easy to see the media loving this pick and treating her with the kid gloves that they never gave, say, Hillary. For all the talk sure to come from the Republican side about how they want to finish the job the Democrats started, it's likely that this pick is going to be more notable for how it subverts the smart, accomplished woman in politics for a non-careerist, outdoorsy version of femininity. Why anyone would think that would appeal to a large percentage of the female electorate is beyond me, but what do I know.

She seems like a character Aaron Sorkin would write only he'd have had her go to Harvard on the beauty pageant scholarship and then to have worked on a fishing boat while doing legal aid for indigenous peoples. Instead, she's just got the beauty pageant and the fishing boat. Doesn't seem like that's enough.

UPDATE: I got a chance to catch some of her appearance and the reaction to her selection at lunch and nothing I saw changed my mind. She comes across as very, very unpresidential and small potatoes on camera and whether it's fair or not that accent is going to get mercilessly mocked on SNL. Also, she's been picked by exactly the wrong candidate to be going around talking about being in the PTA. Her "hockey mom" schtick is getting a lot of love from the talking heads who are bizarrely claiming this to be a history making choice--um, why exactly? We've had female VP candidates before--and Palin herself went directly after Hillary supporters. To me, that spells disaster, but I'm not an expert. The reaction from actual voters seems to be shock/apprehension but the media loves it. No surprises there.

That debate with Biden looms large, and it's hard to imagine her not making a foreign policy mistake between now and the election. Even if she doesn't, it's going to be tough for her. The last time most people heard an accent like hers was in Fargo and nothing about her resume or willfully smalltown demeanor is going to contradict that sentiment.

Exhibit 4.14

Countdown to GRE Literature Subject Test.

Days left until test: 3
Special Halloween Edition
Halloween Movies as GRE Literature Questions:

After they discover their Aunt Sophie has been imprisoned by their evil Aunt Agatha and that only a set of twins can break the spell, Mary Kate and Ashley set out to free their good aunt with the help of a magic wand.

This accurately describes:
A) "The World Is Too Much with Us"
B) The Wife of Bath's Tale
C) Double, Double, Toil and Trouble
D) Their Eyes Were Watching God
E) The Aeneid

The following are characters: Man Attendant, Dr. Sam Loomis, Power Worker, Sheriff Ben Meeker, Security Guard, Jamie Lloyd.

These are characters from:
A) Halloween II
B) Halloween III: Season of the Witch
C) Halloween IV: The Return of Michael Myers
D) Halloween H2O
E) Sir Gawain and the Green Knight

Patrick said to his sister, "We need a virgin who speaks German to read the incantation that will get rid of all of these monsters." His sister replied, "I'm failing German." Patrick tells her to read the incantation anyway. When nothing happens, he asks if she's a virgin. "Well," she says, "there's Steve, but he doesn't count."

Also, "Wolfman's got nards."

This excerpt is from:
A) The Way of the World
B) one of The Leatherstocking Tales
C) "In Memoriam A.H.H."
D) The Monster Squad
E) Vanity Fair

Exhibit 3.3

While I was walking our two dogs, a group of 4 or 5 preschool-aged children from our neighborhood ran towards me, and one asked in Spanish if they could pet the dogs (I assume). The dogs at this point were really freaked out by the children, and I'm very nervous about them biting a child so it didn't seem like a good idea. Unfortunately, I don't actually know any Spanish, but rather than make the obvious assumption that at least one of the children (and probably all) had better English skills than I had Spanish, I decided I'd tough it out with my Spanish gleamed from movie titles, band names, and the Amigos menu.

"No, gracias," I said. "Perro malvado." To complete this inter-cultural exchange, I widened my eyes ominously.

The children seemed confused and ran away.

This was not the correct way to say this for at least two reasons:
1) Malvado apparently means evil, not just bad. So I'm now the hombre in the neighborhood with a blood-thirsty pack of 9-kilo dogs.
2) I used the singular (I think), which means they either thought I was calling the child who asked an evil dog, was talking to a different and unseen evil dog, or I was calling myself an evil dog.

In other words, imagine approaching a man walking two dogs and asking to pet the barking dogs which are straining at their leashes towards you. The man looks confused for a moment before shouting in a heavy accent, "No thanks, Evil Dog!" The man then widens his eyes and walks away.

Would you invite that man to your next neighborhood fiesta?