Exhibit 1.3.3

This Exists



And you need to know about it. Look, I know it's my fault for buying Pop-Tarts in the first place, and maybe I was wrong to expect so much of the good folks at Kellogg's, but this crosses a line.

I don't want to say anything controversial here, but I strongly believe this is worse than manslaughter.

My favorite part can't even be seen here which is that the recipe--O, yes, there's a real recipe on the inside of the box, in case you couldn't figure it out from the picture in the moments before you had to look away--liberally uses the word 'carefully.' You are to carefully spread the marshmallow creme. Also the peanut better. Then you are to sprinkle the "candy-coated chocolate pieces"--carefully--before carefully transferring to a wire rack.

They were trying to warn us.

Exhibit 15.20

Possible Explanations for Why the Entire City of Lincoln Smells Like Maple & Brown Sugar Oatmeal This Morning

1. Maple & brown sugar oatmeal tanker truck accident (this would explain the quarantine, too)
2. What I'm actually smelling is my stroke
3. That one law
4. Lincoln got into some poison ivy
5. Tomorrow's rodeo at the event center is going to be the best rodeo ever

I'm out of explanations.