Exhibit 1.3.27

Fantasy Football Draft Recap (Redux)

I'm hating myself more and more with every word I type. I'll probably only be able to manage some 700 or 800 of them. Forgive me. For everything.

The Cal Drogo

O, god and I made a logo. I almost forgot about that. But I didn't. Instead I told everyone about it and posted it every time I got the opportunity. Otherwise, however, I totally forgot.

Round 1 - Chris Johnson, RB
I sort of wonder where he would have gone if I hadn't grabbed him at 6. I feel like people forgot that the reason he was downgraded was because he was holding out but that, now that he signed, there's really nothing wrong with him. Or maybe I'm forgetting something, like how he hasn't played at all this preseason and Tennessee is horrible and I should have just rolled the dice with Vick. Except there's this: we've spent the last two periods in my composition classroom discussing a couple of articles on Vick and, frankly, I hate him. I remember that.

I actually feel really good about Johnson here. Their QB situation is more stable (if not more fragile), and outside of injury, Johnson seems like as safe a bet to put up 1500+ yards as there is.

Round 2 - Larry Fitzgerald, WR
Let's all forget about who I grabbed in the second round of my last draft and try to focus on the fact that in this one, I got a guy who put up numbers even with Derek Anderson and Max Hall throwing him the ball. Fitzgerald is like Antonio Gates. You just like having him.

Really though, there wasn't much temptation to go in any other direction. Vick almost dropped all the way here which was a shock in a 12-team league and I would have picked him if he were insulting a puppy's mother in front of it while eating all of its rawhide cigars. I would have, really.

Round 3 - Matt Forte, RB
I've actually always had a weird soft spot for Forte, mostly because I don't really understand who he is or where he comes from or why he's good or what he likes to do on weekends. O, except put up yards. He's not a TD guy--not yet--but damn if he isn't productive. Bet you didn't know he's averaged 1500 yards rushing/receiving per year. I'll take it. The Bears' offensive line is horrible, but I don't really care. They were last year too. Felt really good about this pick. I like guys who nobody thinks about until they put up 20 points and confuse everyone.

Round 4 - Dez Bryant, WR
What we've learned here is that I will take Dez Bryant if given the opportunity. I think I actually wanted Brandon Marshall here, but my brother jumped on him. Or maybe I wanted him with the next pick. I can't remember.

The theme of this draft is memory: I only have it when it comes to dogs and not football or Matt Forte's hobbies.

Round 5 - Ben Roethlisberger, QB
Why do I always wait too long to take a QB and end up with this clown?

That's what I wrote two years ago when I waited too long and took that clown. This year, I feel a good about him, actually (that offense is explosive), but I still hate him as evidenced by my having never said one nice thing about him on this blog.

Round 6 - Jimmy Graham, TE
Tight ends were going fast and I (like everyone else) really love Jimmy Graham this year. I reached a little, but the other options weren't anything special. I loved him coming out of Miami, actually, and remained more than a little bummed the Dolphins couldn't find a way to get him.

I want one of two things out of my tightend position: consistency so I never have to think about it or extreme upside so it becomes exciting to check the box score. Thanks, Jimmy.

Round 7 - Joseph Addai, RB
This league plays with two flex spots and a short bench so Addai will almost certainly start for me until he gets hurt or Peyton Manning dies and the Colts fall apart. So the upside is...well, I'm not sure actually. He's a weird player. He's never been that good--and he's been bad the last three years--and yet he's still the starter and it's not inconceivable that if healthy he could be a really strong number three. I'm not counting on him or anything, but it would be nice if he proved to have one more average season in him.

Round 8 - Fred Jackson, RB
This is the perplexing thing about fantasy football generally (and this league specifically). Having Fred Jackson as your fourth running back and second flex really isn't terrible. In fact, I can imagine scenarios where people would be excited to have him as their third if the fourth were a boom or bust wide receiver. Jackson is a starter, always produces, catches passes, will get goal line carries, etc. And yet nobody wants him. Hell, I don't even want him. No team starting him can be that good.

It's strange, but I think I'd rather have him as my third best running back than my fourth. That would at least imply I had strength elsewhere. As is, he's just sort of there not being very good or very bad. I don't like it. You can't trust mediocrity. I want to cut him already which doesn't even make any sense.

Round 9 - Pierre Garcon, WR
Why not? O right, because I hated him last year.

Round 10 - Davone Bess, WR
I love Davone Bess. I hope he challenges Fred Jackson to a fight and only one comes back.

Fantasy football doesn't work that way, but I wish it did. The Cal Drogo play Fantasy Fantasy Football, and that's the way I like it.

Anyway, I weirdly might start Bess more than any of the three people picked in front of him because I like Dolphins and Bess is reliable. That's probably not smart, but smart isn't what got Ed Stark to where he is today.

Draft Grade: B. I thought about B-minus, but the more I look at this team the more I like it and might even go B-plus. Those first three picks are perfect, I feel like, and if Dez steps up (which, apparently, I really think is going to happen) and Pitt's offense is what it should be then I've got a really strong lineup of marque players. Down roster it's more 'take a walk' than it is 'hit or miss,' but that might not be a bad thing. Might not be a good thing either. Who knows. I honestly have forgotten who my tight end is. Is it Antonio Gates? God, I hope so.

No comments: