Exhibit 20.22

Things I Won't Be Blogging About While Preparing to Move

* My attempts to purchase everything for my new apartment on Amazon.com - I won't talk about this because then I would have to explain to you why my couch is going to be made out of remaindered copies of Tom Wolfe books. Frankly, this is something you should discover for yourself when you come to visit. When you see the Lego Star Destroyer I'm using as a coffee table, just pretend to be impressed and say yes when I offer you an appetizer off the back of a Roomba.

* This Houston-area ax-murder - I know, I know. You all told me, Don't move to Houston, if the heat doesn't kill you the ax-murderers will. Thankfully it was explained to me by former Houston-ites that they actually have "Cool Zones" where you can go to get away from the heat. This does nothing to stop the ax-murderers, of course, but it's a start. Come to think of it, actually, if anything it will just make us easier for the ax-murderers to get us all.

* My going away party - It's this Saturday. If I haven't invited you, it's an oversight and I'm sorry. You're invited. You and it appears the 9 people I still know in Lincoln.

* The great deals on used furniture & dogs currently going on at my apartment - I just like joking about selling Brett so that when someone says, You'd have to pay me to take her I can throw $20 at them and run away laughing. Sadly, Brett will probably just chase me. Then you'll use the $20 to by three-quarters of what I own. I'll then use that $20 to buy 39 copies of I am Charlotte Simmons.

* This Royals season - Oh, god, they're awful. Frankly, I'm going to be glad when the ax-murderer gets me. I hope we get the chance to talk about his job title as we enjoy the chilly air of the Cool Zone. I have questions. Like why is ax-murderer a thing, but if, say, you just going around stabbing people like some random Peterson, you're not a knife-murderer. Instead you're just sort of a jerk. I'm sure he'll have thoughts on this.


Anonymous said...

I think if you talk to the axe-murderer in the Cool Zone (because what axe-murderer can afford air conditioning?) he might convince you to become an Astros fan, and then you and he can enjoy a cool pint of St. Arnold's behind left field at Minute Maid Park, and then he won't kill you, and you'll be cool, and you'll have a friend besides Andrew, and you'll see an over-500 team play ball, and all will be well. This is Deb, BTW.

Anonymous said...

OK, so maybe the Astros aren't technically OVER 500, but they're AT 500, and we always do better after the All Star break (see 2005 season), so I'm hopeful by the time you're reading this, we'll be over 500.

Anonymous said...

have I told you about St. Arnold's? I'm like the worst friend ever.