Exhibit 13.20

I winterized the apartment so now all of the windows are covered in taut, shiny plastic. I feel like a G.I. Joe or a person infected with Outbreak or a G.I. Joe infected with Outbreak.

(3 thoughts on the movie Outbreak I have even though I haven't seen it since a rained-out recess in the seventh grade [in other words, some of this could be misremembered so I may not be giving the Renee Russo/Cuba Gooding Jr./Donald Sutherland thriller a fair shake]:

1. So the government--which seems to have Outbreak pretty well quarantined--decides to blow up the infected town, ostensibly because they need to cover up Outbreak. Now, it's been a long time since I was in my Government Murder of Citizens Versus Letting Their Deaths Occur Naturally seminar, but I'm thinking the government nuking a town is going to get a bit of attention. If option one is letting the people die, telling a worried citizenry that it's under control for now, and then figuring out a cure while option two is bombing a town, not telling the now revolting citizenry why you nuked town, and then shrugging shoulders--and you choose option two--I'm not sure if you should be reelected. Sorry, Lee Terry.

2. It's weird that Patrick Dempsey is a sex symbol now because to me he'll always be the stonery guy named Jimbo who was the first to die from Outbreak because the monkey he stole bit him. Okay, I guess that is a little sexy.

3. I'm not, despite what I may have told you personally, a helicopter expert. However, even at 13 I'm pretty sure I knew enough to know that if you're in a helicopter chase, it's not going to work to just shoot some missiles into the ground and then hope that the helicopter following behind you mistakes the missiles for a crash and goes home as opposed to, you know, scanning the horizon and seeing your slowly fleeing helicopter less than a 1/4 mile away).

Well, turns out I've got nothing else after that long parenthetical. I guess you could say this whole thing was just a ruse to get you to read my thoughts about 1995's 24th-highest grossing movie. I guess you could say I probably deserve the Outbreak.

Still, we all have learned so much:
1. I can't spell missiles correctly on the first go around
2. Winterizing is good for the environment and bad for sanity
3. Knowing is half the battle

1 comment:

carlinthemarlin said...

Oh god, I forgot about those GI Joe things. So damn funny.

p.s. the little word verification thing reads desterap, which I feel should be a word. I'm just not sure what it should mean yet.