Exhibit 12.3

So after posting this about horrible mid-late 90s pop-rock which found its way into heavy rotation, sometimes even to this day, I figured I'd find and examine some other examples. I limited myself to things not on this A.V. Club list though there are some good ones there too.

"Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me for Me)" - Blessid Union of Souls

Best Lyric
There were a lot of options here--including a Tyson Bedford reference--but I've got to go with the following bizarrely uncertain passage wherein the singer seems to be under the impression that women would like him if he hung out with Steve Buscemi:

She likes me for me
Not because I hang with Leonardo
Or that guy who played in "Fargo"
I think his name is Steve

"How Do I Deal" - Jennifer Love Hewitt

Best Lyric
This song may not have been popular anywhere else, but they played it incessantly in the town I went to high school, even 10 years after the song came out. Anyway, this song is off the I Know What You Did Last Summer soundtrack and it's fun to imagine that instead of singing to some generic boy, she's actually singing to the killer. To me, that's the only logical choice:

What the hell I have to do
How do I deal with you (How do I deal with you)
How do I deal with me (How do I deal with me)
When I don't even know myself
Or what it is you want from me

Um, Jennifer, he wants you to die. You're the one who's making it difficult.

"Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" - Nine Days

Best Lyric
Tough to say, but I think the song shows its true colors when in the middle of an otherwise pro-this girl ditty the singer becomes an asshole boyfriend for a few lines:

Now how many lovers would stay
Just to put up with this shit
day after day
Now how did we wind up this way

Oh, I get it, this is about your guilt. Gotcha.

"You Wanted More" - Tonic

Best Lyric
After many attempts to define the word love, our lyricist gives up:

I gotta pick me up when I am down
I gotta get my feet back on the ground
I gotta pick me up when I am down


I just hope the lead singer was able to put working as a janitor in this video as experience on his resume. (Okay, that was too mean. I have a soft spot for Tonic for reasons I've never cared to explore).

"Something's Always Wrong" - Toad the Wet Sprocket

Best Lyric
This song features indecipherable verses which culminate abruptly in very trite thoughts:

It seems we meet
In the spaces
In between
We always say
It won't be long
But something's always wrong

Bonus points should be given for this band name leading to one of my favorite Futurama jokes. Bored, exasperated Lela, "This Toads the Wet Sprocket." Ouch.

Everything You Want - Vertical Horizon

Best Lyric
I'm not even going to look. I'm under the impression this song gives people cancer.

"I'll Be" - Edwin McCain

Best Lyric
Again, I just can't do it. My guess is the best lyric is whatever one made you play this during the father-daughter dance at your wedding.

"Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" - Paula Cole

Best Lyric
Seeing as how this song has a sarcastic, feminist message that America chose to ignore, it's easy to take the lyrics at face value and find them funny:

Why don't you stay the evening
Kick back and watch the TV
And I'll fix a little something to eat
Oh I know your back hurts from working on the tractor
How do you take your coffee my sweet
I will raise the children if you pay all the bills

Also funny for featuring an odd performance from Paula Cole in the video. She actually looks worried most of the time like people aren't going to get it and her spot on the Lilith Fair is going to be in jeopardy.

Quick Hits!
"Hanging By a Moment" - Lifehouse. I have nothing to say about the song except to commend the lead singer's earnestness in the video. Well done. You could learn from him, Ms. Cole.

"Kryptonite" - Three Doors Down. Fun fact: I got sucked into watching the entire video when I went to find the link.

"Bitch" - Meredith Brooks. I did not get sucked into watching this little gem off of Satan's party mix.

"Missing" - Everything But The Girl. Okay, so this one is on that A.V. Club list, but I feel like it deserves to be mentioned twice.

"(Any song off of New Miserable Experience)" - The Gin Blossoms.

"Truly Madly Deeply" - Savage Garden. Any Savage Garden song would work just as well. I couldn't even make it through thirty seconds of this video. The lead singer just creeps the hell out of me. Plus, the horrible.

And I'm going to stop. I have now successfully avoided writing anything today. Hoozah!

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