Exhibit 12.16

Stock Photography Review

In honor of the first day of autumn, we'll be looking at some stock photos. The fall is the favorite season of stock photography because it's warm and colorful without being washed out, a quality that makes a background seem like everywhere without really seeming like anywhere. As always, the idea here is for us to see ourselves in these photos which means that this is what advertisers think of us:

Autumn is the time we...

...help our be-hatted, reluctant spouse shoot a deer in order to acquire the necessary sinew and intestine for their own bow.

...basket our gourds.

...get all Scrooge McDuck with our pumpkin pile.

...pretend the leaves in the park are hands holding us aloft after winning the chino sales competition at the Banana Republic.

...find ourselves doing chores in an empty, diaphanous nightmare world.

...wonder how our collection of tiny trees managed to produce a pile of Jurassically large and clearly plastic leafs.

...are surprised when our cutest babies are returned to us by conscientious garbagemen for having been inappropriately grouped with the yard waste.

...all agree on a new, less horrific history.

...take advantage of beautiful days in the park to work on our relationships with a book and grimly consider whether or not every chapter in the table of contents is going to be necessary to make this work.

...answer the previous question in the negative and then wear our tightest jeans to a different park with a copy of the most pretentious book at the Borders.

1 comment:

jimStock said...

diaphanous = diaphragm + anous?