6.10.2009

Exhibit 19.13

10 things I've learned about the Lincoln Saltdogs today, or, alternatively, 7 things about the Saltdogs then some stuff about robots

1. The Lincoln Saltdogs continue to exist
2. Tomorrow is pitcher David Humen's birthday
3. They're currently in last place
4. They're probably still better than the Royals
5. The promotion for June 14th is to not sell peanuts
6. I missed the auditions to sing the national anthem by several months
7. Pete Rose Jr. has not been on the team for five years
8. One of their pitchers is named 'III Cory' or, more likely, is a robot named Cory III9. As a robot, Cory III hasn't given up any runs but has been on the DL
10. A good joke for a robot pitcher going on the DL would be, "I hope he doesn't have to have Autommy Johns surgery."
11. It's unclear how Cory III affects the likelihood of a Base Wars-esque league where mortal men compete against machines
12. What is clear is that Michael Biehn would be the first overall pick in that league's human draft
13. How many hotdogs will it take to make me feel good if I go to tonight's game and there's not a robot pitcher?
14. Probably four

No comments: