Exhibit 3.4

Ouch, Jon Bruning.

If you're Bruning, should you just drop out of the race and claim you were running against Hagel but feel Johanns represents your values? I'd certainly be tempted to rather than waste money and what little remaining goodwill I had for what is almost certain to be a losing effort. Bruning's road to the Senate would mean beating Johanns (and Hal Daub) in a primary and possibly facing (and besting) Bob Kerrey. That's just not happening. Bruning gambled that Hagel would run, and Bruning lost. It's probably best that he just waits his turn for the governorship (sigh). Or just moves somewhere else. In fact, I vote for that option.

Johanns vs. Kerrey, anyone?

Welcome to the national stage, Nebraska.

Exhibit 2.16

Well, good bye Senator Hagel. I was profoundly upset when he beat Ben Nelson, but all and all things worked out about as well as could be expected considering the party-line Republicans (ed note: Grassley, Brownback, Roberts, etc.) that get elected by our neighbors. To get an independent-minded, anti-war lightening rod who single-handidly started the serious debate on the future of the Iraq war in the Republican Party is a bit of a bonus. Based on our current represenatives to the House, we won't get that lucky again.

In a lot of ways, this is the worst possible outcome for Jon Bruning as he had to be counting on being the only one with enough chutzpah (or the one with the least loyalty) to challenge a potentially vulnerable candidate like Hagel. Now that Hagel's gone, Bruning basically is forced to run as an anti-immigration, pro-war zealot while someone with a much better resume and name recognition like Mike Johanns comes into the race. Basically, Bruning is either going to have to continue to take on a now straw-man argument about the war or find a way to stand out in a field where every candidate shares his positions only in much softer and less-defined ways. It's one thing to have a war vs. no-war argument, but it's quite another to have a lots-of-war vs. some-war argument.

I'll probably write more about Bob Kerrey at some point, but let me just say he's been my favorite politician since I was old enough to read Newsweek. I have a vivid memory of seeing a picture of him and Debra Winger at one point and feeling really proud to be a Nebraskan. We've got football national championships, William Jennings Bryan, and a senator who once dated Debra Winger. What do you have, Iowa?

I probably don't even agree with him on everything--especially on the war, which he really needs to explain--but nothing would make me happier than to see him back in Nebraska. Sounds like it'll happen.

Exhibit 2.7

Not to pile on or engage in partisan political hackery or anything, but it's been another banner week for Republicans complete with ineptitude, hypocrisy, and, of course, the rearming of a terrorist organization.

A few thoughts here:

• Nobody has worked this hard to figure out someone's very obvious sexuality since George Michael left the world confused for the better part of the decade. (That article is a must read).
• Like George Michael, it might be time for Senator Craig to just admit that when innuendo and rumors cross the line to creepy bathroom stall arrest, it's probably best to just come out.
• Because, I mean, there are plenty of excuses for a lot of those things taken individually, but when added up, just saying "I have a wide stance." doesn't really undo twenty years worth of gossip coming to a head. So to speak.
• Obviously killing Shredder wasn't enough.
• I'm adding "Jiminy God" to my internal list of exclamations right between "Jesus Christ on a cracker" and "Khhhhhhhaaaaaan!"
• The next time you scare me I'll probably yell "Jiminy God!"
• Or possibly "Jesus Christ on a cracker!" or maybe "Khhhhhhhaaaaaan!"
• Shouldn't we have all suspected this Sen. Craig thing after his last gay sex scandal ended with him marrying a woman six months later? I think her maiden name was Beardra Beardson.
• Who would have thought the new TMNT movie would be legitimately good? Sure, they neutered Leonardo a little bit--just as they did with Cyclops in the X-Men movies, I have a theory about this--but my buddy Ryan and I couldn't have been more surprised.
• On second thought, maybe Senator Craig is just really bad at selecting men's rooms. Could happen to anyone.

And I've got nothing to add about our former Attorney General who I'm sure is a lovely man who has never personally listened to a person's phone call without a warrant and even if he had, cannot recollect it.

Exhibit 1.2

It's always fun to write about a man I've seen in a dress. (You're next, Dad.)

Jon Bruning is tall with the face and hair of a man who should have been a mid-market sportscaster but who was tragically blessed with enough charisma to win smiles, enough wealth to make his dreams bigger, and not enough intelligence to understand his own fallibility. That is not to say Jon Bruning is dumb--I have no idea and I doubt very much that he is. What he should have been is this guy:

Lincoln, NE's ABC Affiliate KLKN Sportscaster Jon Wofford

What he is is this guy:

Kind of a Douchebag Jon Bruning

I don't really care for people who might rather have been born in a manger. Or those who at any point might wish for a catastrophe that they might transcend. Inevitably they create the catastrophe, fail it, and slink away to an ignoble twilight where they unironically contemplate how God could have ever failed them. I've always thought that was the subtext of this book. I'm sure if we think hard enough, we might be able to think of even more figures this profile applies to in our current scene. Maybe even someone who is on TV a lot. No, not Wolf Blitzer. Although yes, probably Wolf Blitzer.

I've spoken briefly with Jon Bruning maybe twice, each time at party where there were drinks, a few of his lackey's, and no talk of politics. He was very nice though seemingly guarded, perhaps naturally, when anything that could make him the least bit vulnerable came up. When one of his assistant AGs and I were talking a little about law school, for example, he declined to enter into the conversation politely but firmly, making it clear he wanted no part of any conversation, no matter how innocuous, that went into his past. And while it would be hard to blame him for that, it would have been nice to walk away with the feeling that he wasn't just a 6'4" election machine stuck on vote-getter. (Of course, considering what he wrote while in law school, his reticence might be more understandable).

I like to think I'm not a bad person, so I didn't take a picture of him on the occasion where he was in drag. But the photo would have been a great one: white frilly dress, blond wig, fake books and presumably real bra, a little makeup, and the biggest pair of platform heels I've ever seen. He must have rented it. It was a Halloween party at some friends' house, and I, like the attorney general, were guests there. Everyone was in some degree of embarrassing garb, but his getup was a statement while mine was a costume. Had I taken the picture--and for all I know someone did, we weren't his only party that night--I imagine all hell would have broken loose as it would have been exactly the thing his carefully parsed words try to hide: Jon Bruning is an aged-frat guy whose ambitions far outpace his talents.

He wants to be president. He thinks he would be governor if Osborne hadn't run (and lost). He's upset at the Nebraska Republican Party and taking it out by transforming himself even further to the right by becoming an anti-immigration, pro-war zealot. Since even in Nebraska being that right-wing makes most a little uncomfortable, I have a hard time seeing him beating Hagel or a strong darkhorse (like, say, Johans). That said, if Hagel doesn't run, Johans takes a cushy lobbying or CEO gig, and the Democrats run one of their usual punching bags, we're probably looking at Senator Bruning which is a positive only in that it pretty much ends any chance of finding himself elected president.