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A Primer on the Rules of Cricket, Pt. 2
11. In the event of a wide, a run shall be scored to the batsman's team but not the batsman. This run shall be called a holly or a bosh depending upon local playing conditions.
12. Should play be interrupted by the flight of a sparrow, time shall be given for gazing before play is restarted and the hourglass is overturned.
13. It is given that the wicket-keep should keep the wickets throughout the nights of the match should his quarters prove suitable. Should they not prove suitable, the wicket-keep shall retire with the wickets in nearest suitable boarding house at the wicket's expense.
14. Henceforth, the Irish are allowed to play.
15. Balls shall weigh no more than a poussin and be no less in circumference than a school marm's apple.
16. Should a player wish to smoke a pipe they may do so with the affectations of a bannister on the condition they maintain good cheer with their fellows by offering their tobacco.
17. A captain shall be elected from each side and from among the gentlemen observers. These captains shall, in the event of a tie or jig, determine the winner of the match through conference. Should the observers prevail, each shall be awarded their share of the biscuits upon retiring from the grounds.
18. Revision to rule 15 after adoption of metric standards of measure: Balls shall weigh no more than a poussin 163 grams and be no less in circumference than a school marm's apple 229mm.
19. In the event of a mystery, play should be stopped until the apprehension of the culprit with the assistance of the judge's bludgeon. Play shall then continue on in the manner of the last seen sparrow.
20. If a captain declares an innings closed, or forfeits an innings, or enforces the follow-on, and the other captain is prevented thereby from exercising his option of the rolling permitted (maximum 7 minutes), or if he is so prevented for any other reason, the extra time required to complete the rolling shall be taken out of the normal playing time.
1.15.2010
Exhibit 23.20
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2 comments:
don't forget to yell "whackbat" at the end...oh wait.
So, I'm streaming the NFL playoffs online, and it's from fox sports Australia, so all of the commercials are Australian. One of them is a KFC commercial (KFC is apparently the only restaurant in Australia since like half the commercials were theirs), which takes place a a cricket match. "Average seats at the cricket" Australian asks? Then he proceeds to show us how to sneak up to the sideline by disguising himself as a security guard. When another, fatter security guard becomes suspicious, he just smooths things over by offering his much rounder counter part a new KFC pocketfull. The pocketfull is essentially a wrap with chicken, lettuce, tomatoes, a McDonald's breakfast hashbrown (apparently) and smoky barbecue sauce. The security guard immediately forgets about this intruder because, I mean, shit, did you not read that description of that sandwich (wrap-thingy)?
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