Hazing vs. Shooting a Sleeping Homeless Guy
Here in Lincoln the local papers and newscasters have had to repeatedly describe the hazing as there's no euphemism for, um, what happened. There certainly should be one though. Have we used "taking in an Astros game" for anything yet?
Name Withheld vs. Joe David Tall
Diagnosed as a schizophrenic at 15, on the streets at 19, homeless for 30 years, and then shot while sleeping by some student who thinks he's Charles Bronson. Man, that's a tragic life. There are about 60 students in a fraternity house in Lincoln who think what is happening to them right now is unfair. Fellas, the world is a much darker than you realize and at the moment you are part of the problem.
Some Stripper vs. Some Student
E. says her Sigma Chi student swore it was the stripper's idea to, you know, take that pledge to the Astros game. I'm certainly no expert on these matters, but that seems about as likely as a rich, handsome john falling in love with a prostitute and taking her to business meetings and stuff.
What do you meant that's the plot of Pretty Woman? I've never seen it. No, really. Lucky guess, I suppose. [whistles as walking away]
Awkward Silence vs. Insanity
The best thing you can say after looking at both articles is that at least there aren't comments on the hazing scandal one. If there were, most of them would look like this:
HuskersCrouch7 - Can they say that in the paper?
RedNLincoln - Seriously, my grandparents read this paper.
GrandParents - Do they still make pledges "win the Atlantic Theatre"?
Well, I hope we've all learned something. Only the worst of us choose such easy victims, we need to do more to help those who fall through the cracks, and anything can sound dirty when put in quotation marks.