Exhibit 12.19

Well, somehow I made it through a year's worth of blog posts without using the word placenta and now I've gone and ruined it. Nobody is more upset about this than I am.

Exhibit 10.20

For reasons I can't even begin to conceive of, I've joined Facebook. By my count, I'm probably the eighth to last person in the world to take the plunge into this seedy world of walls and graduation years. I'm cold and alone. People keep poking me. I'm scared.

If you too want to be a part of this humiliating embodiment of man's decline, join me. Or friend me. Or whatever. I don't know. It's probably best if we all just forget this ever happened.

Exhibit 10.18

So some guy from Wisconsin also named Adam Peterson allegedly killed someone and has possibly killed two others. Jesus.

A few thoughts here:

1. Welcome Wisconsinites visiting from Google. I'm not that Adam Peterson. In case it wasn't clear from the last post, I wouldn't murder someone named Marino. Kiss someone named Marino? Maybe...

2. After getting knocked down a peg by this kid, I'm now the 109th most well-known Adam Peterson in the country. I think I'm behind an unusually personable tax account from Cleveland and the president of the Northwestern Michigan Orchid Society.

3. I've covered this before, but seriously, what's wrong with the Petersons? In the last three years alone we've killed more people than bird flu. Just once I'd like to turn on the news, hear about a murder, and not have to think, "Please don't be a Peterson. Please don't be a Peterson. Please don't...damn it!"

4. Why can't a Petersen kill someone to take the attention away? They're the ones that are really nuts.