Exhibit 2.8

Stock Photography Review

First, go here. (Ed note: see update). Because we're going to be talking about this photo:


Ah, Reuters (which, until I read Tony Kushner's directions in Homebody/Kabul, I always pronounced Root-ers. I love that this was a big enough problem that it was one of two pronunciations he felt the need to point out [ed note: the other was Wodehouse]). Apparently when this story about reproduction slid across the editor's desk the conversation was:

Editor: Great. Do we have any pictures?
Reporter: Of what?
Editor: The production of these so-called "kids."
Reporter: You mean, the sex?
Editor: Yes, get me some 'the sex!'
Reporter: We can't publish that, sir.
Editor: Well, get me something that suggests as much in the most obvious way possible.

Hence a small child and rockets. Look at the father's slack-jawed awe at the sight of these explosive (and in no way suggestive) shafts. And the child who despite being identified as a boy is wearing a very effeminate pair of pink pants. Geez, I wonder if Dad picked those out...

Why not have another fake conversation?

Man with son on shoulders: So this picture isn't going to be used in any kind of sexually suggestive way, right?
Photographer: Nope, we're just going to use it for today's event.
Man: Good. I'd hate for anything to ruin our day at this year's Phallus Expo.

Then the photo wasn't used and here it is as a file photo the first time someone needed to fill space in a story about procreation. This isn't stock photography per se. (In fact, it works in the exact opposite way of stock photography on the viewer, leading to enforced, ill-fitting specificity while stock photography is about creating unnatural anonymity). The idea of using people as furniture is the same, however, so I think it counts.

UPDATE: They changed the photo! So I posted this and went to get some pepper coffee before deciding I should check the link, and they'd changed it to two people's mouths. Rest assured, this was the photo this morning.

Exhibit 1.16

Things you should be looking for in tonight's pre-season opening Dolphins game:

• John Beck's performance. Not as a quarterback--that will be fine--but as the lead in the Adam Peterson story. Look at this guy. Seeing him in a Dolphins uniform is like watching one of my dreams in the third person.

• Ted Ginn vs. Ted Ginn's hamstring. The battle no one wins.
  
• Cam Cameron's head coaching debut. He seems like a good guy, but there is no denying that he went 18-37 in his only other head coaching job at IU. Which, by the way, is his alma mater. This worries me. If/when Drake University ever puts me in charge of their non-scholarship division 1-AA football program, I'm going to do a little better than 18-37. I don't care how many times I have to run Scotty Phaydavong.
  
• Jason Allen continuing to do his statue impression when on the field. He couldn't be more of a bust if he didn't have a torso. No one can convince me that Saban didn't actually want to draft some other guy named Jason Allen Smith but forgot to write the last name on the card. Then when Tagliabue read the name, Saban just played it cool and told everyone in the room, "Well, I'm sure he's good too."
  
• My favorite sleeper player: David Sutton. He's a 6-6 ex-volleyball player who only caught 6 passes during his time at UTEP. No jokes here. He's good.