Exhibit 22.10

Rejected Halloween Costume Ideas

I actually don't really like the costume aspect of Halloween all that much, but I feel like I have to at least try. This year's rejected possibilities:

* Zombie Updike - I really just wanted to carry around a book that said Brains, Rabbit Brains. Too soon.

* Carcetti - Man, I would be such an awesome Carcetti, but informal polling suggests no one knows who Carcetti is which, frankly, is just sad. The only one of my students who'd heard of The Wire said, You watch BET? and then everyone laughed.

* Snoop - Man, I would be such a terrible Snoop. Still, I would love nothing more than to try to replicate this conversation. It might get a little awkward when children come to the door and I ask them about nail guns.

* Lego Guy - I'm pretty sure this has been my dream costume since I was 8. Unfortunately, I lack several of the necessary elements to make it happen. A red sweatshirt for one.

* One of the Jonas Brothers - This is what my students suggested for me. At the time I thought they just figured all white people looked the same but now it seems clear that I probably could pull off 2.5 out of the 3 which upsets me quite a bit. I don't even really know who the Jonas Brothers are. I watch BET, damnit.

* The businessman from the cover of Aerobiz - Because at first no one would get it then they'd see me holding a phone and yell, Like the businessman from the cover of Aerobiz! Okay, that would never happen.

Exhibit 17.21

So it's not out yet--hopefully next week--but here's the cover of the next volume of The Cupboard:


Nice, right? I'm telling you, this is our best Cupboard yet. All thanks to incredible poet and noted Leo Johnson-resembler Mathias Svalina.

Okay, so nobody has probably ever noted that before. All I know is that I've got to get casting now if I'm going to get a Twin Peaks group costume ready for Halloween.

Apparently that's something I'm doing now. I'm as surprised as you.

So who wants to be Dr. Jacoby?

Exhibit 4.14

Countdown to GRE Literature Subject Test.

Days left until test: 3
Special Halloween Edition
Halloween Movies as GRE Literature Questions:

After they discover their Aunt Sophie has been imprisoned by their evil Aunt Agatha and that only a set of twins can break the spell, Mary Kate and Ashley set out to free their good aunt with the help of a magic wand.

This accurately describes:
A) "The World Is Too Much with Us"
B) The Wife of Bath's Tale
C) Double, Double, Toil and Trouble
D) Their Eyes Were Watching God
E) The Aeneid

The following are characters: Man Attendant, Dr. Sam Loomis, Power Worker, Sheriff Ben Meeker, Security Guard, Jamie Lloyd.

These are characters from:
A) Halloween II
B) Halloween III: Season of the Witch
C) Halloween IV: The Return of Michael Myers
D) Halloween H2O
E) Sir Gawain and the Green Knight

Patrick said to his sister, "We need a virgin who speaks German to read the incantation that will get rid of all of these monsters." His sister replied, "I'm failing German." Patrick tells her to read the incantation anyway. When nothing happens, he asks if she's a virgin. "Well," she says, "there's Steve, but he doesn't count."

Also, "Wolfman's got nards."

This excerpt is from:
A) The Way of the World
B) one of The Leatherstocking Tales
C) "In Memoriam A.H.H."
D) The Monster Squad
E) Vanity Fair