10.21.2011

Exhibit 1.4.13

Stock Photography Review
Sadsack Businessmen



To honor Mathias Svalina's I Am a Very Productive Entrepreneur--and at the long ago suggestion of one Jimmy Stockham--here are some some sadsack businessmen. But first, you should be sure to pick up Mathias's book which is amazing and entrepreneurial and portable and here. I read it months ago and my favorites have stuck with me long after I should have been paying attention to other things like teaching or writing or whatever it is I do.



"Things are going to get better, Robert, things are going to get better. You've got French cuffs and this is going to be okay."


"Makeup can make my cheeks shine, my lips pop, and my hair porcupine, but it can't make Vanessa come back."


"Why did I start a private architecture library? Nobody went to the one at school and nobody is going to this one either. I don't even know what an architecture library is."


"When they find me, I'll have to say something cute like 'I've got motherboard issues.' Not the truth, not yet."


"More like a notary sad."


"When there was only one set of footprints, it was because I was claiming you as a dependent."


"Dress for the job you want, they said, but I'm still here at the front desk and no closer to that handjob."


"Hey, Cindy. Cindy! Are you having emotions?"


"Okay, keep it together. She might still want to buy the steak knives. What was her name? Vanessa something?"


"I hope it's a nice day outside and not one of those this-hellish-white-landscape-is-a-metaphor-for-how-I'm-dying-inside days. O, goddamnit."


"Every year I find a way to ruin the company Christmas party, and firing everyone to hire Prince to perform may have been the best way yet."


"Stay calm, Robert, this is happening. We always knew it would. O God. Think of the cuffs."


Bonus! Submit your own caption for this one in the comments:


And don't forget to buy Mathias's book at SPD.

4 comments:

hoostown said...

"Hughley thought entering into a binding contract would be sexier."

Anonymous said...

"cold despair washed over him as he thought of the starbucks venti and remembered it was a three day weekend."

A. Peterson said...

Mine: "I can't believe it's not even time for lunch."

Misdirection!

jimStock said...

"I suppose this beats my first day at the grocer when they kept making me shake up the Italian dressing."

These were stellar. Other stock photography websites are sitting there, all french-cuffed--greasy head-in-hand.