Exhibit 22.27

Literary Criticism Done as if I Were a Character's Opinionated Friend and Could Give Them Advice Then Publish Said Advice in an Academic Journal and Become Bigger than Stanley Fish

Jurassic Park

Wait, really? Awesome. Well, sure, when you give me all the details it doesn't sound quite so awesome. Yes, yes, Malcolm, you called it. Chaos Theory blah blah. I'm sure that will make you feel so much better when the pterodactyls are eating your face. I don't know if they're actually carnivores, you're the one on Dinosaur Island. Fine, I'll Wikipedia it. Yes, ate meat. There. No, it doesn't say how to kill them. I don't know, I'm sure it's never come up before. If you were so certain this would happen, you should have packed a shotgun. Yes, I think a shotgun would probably kill them. I don't know where there would be a shotgun. Ask the raptors. Sorry, sorry. That wasn't funny. If the worst happens, I'll tell the world your story. In the movie, I'll make sure they cast Gary Sinise.