10.27.2009

Exhibit 22.7

Umbrellas

Yesterday it rained for what seemed to be 18 consecutive hours. According to the Chronicle 2.43 inches fell which is more than most (all?) Nebraska counties see in the entire month of October.

(Somehow I'm still only reading the Chronicle for blog research which leads to awkward conversations like when an older couple asked if I worried about the arsonist who has been terrorizing my neighborhood. But you have to understand, from my perspective, I can either worry about arsonists and Yao Ming's foot or I can live a blissful life where arsonists and Yao Ming's foot only exist if they're mentioned in Ulysses or Brett chews on one).

Other than a slightly terrifying drive on a very wet, very busy freeway, this rainfall was mostly notable for explaining why everyone here carries umbrellas. My students laughed at me when I arrived drenched to class and rightfully wondered why I didn't have one myself. I guess I could have explained to them that in elementary school the most popular kid told everyone umbrellas were gay, but I'm not sure they would have bought this unless I could actually get Josh on the phone to explain it to them. And, honestly, what are the odds he'd even answer my call from the space station mansion where he lives with Kelly Kapowski?

So I guess I need to get one, but now it's not raining and I've already given up. There are just too many choices.

Animal Shaped

Too Plaid

Movie Tie-in

Only Duck Head

The Full Duck

Probably British

Arsonist Proof


I mean, I know I should just go with arsonist proof and be done with it, but I think I'm going to need to get the okay from Josh first.

4 comments:

HCG said...

Everybody knows "only duck head" umbrellas are the best.

Manda said...

It is a shame that this is out of stock: http://www.kimmyshop.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=2218636

carlinthemarlin said...

Yesterday, this guy at work had stepped out of the office first thing in the morning, but had forgot to put his cell phone on vibrate. When it rang, his ringtone was "Umbrella" by Rihanna. I thought "this would be really embarrassing for him if he were here right now." Then I thought "Maybe this kind of makes him a badass." Then I didn't know what to think. Then I came home and you had posted something about umbrella's (ella's, ella's, eh, eh), and I was all "Woah, coincidence!"

Dusty said...

I once got stuck in an endless mind loop while walking in the rain in Pittsburgh because twice I told myself in my head, "I wish I'd brought my umbrella," and but each time I pronounced the word with a different stress pattern: "I wish I'd brought my UMbrella" and "I wish I'd brought my umBRELla."

And then I couldn't remember which one I normally say without thinking. And then I wondered why "umbrelLA" wasn't an option. And so my mindloop, timed rhythmically to my walking pace until I got to wherever I was going and had other words to distract me:

UMbrella, umBRELla, umbrelLA
UMbrella, umBRELla, umbrelLA
UMbrella, umBRELla, umbrelLA
UMbrella, umBRELla, umbrelLA

Have I told you this before? I tell this story all the time. It's one of Smay's favorites.