10.06.2009

Exhibit 21.25

Gross Things I'm Going to Eat in Nebraska This Week

And by this week I mean every day this week. And by gross I mean gross. One of the underrated parts of living in Nebraska is that the state was neglected by franchisers for long enough that it has a couple of robust regional fast food restaurants. The Amigos "Cheesy" is such an institution that everyone has forgotten it's just a tortilla with cheese and the faintest hint of refried beans, as if it the tortilla came into contact with a dirty table (which it probably did). Somehow this works and Amigos knows it which explains why during my lifetime the price of this particular item has nearly tripled (this leads to a lot of people, friends, parents trying to make cheesi themselves which is a complicated process involving 1) a tortilla and 2) shredded cheddar and 3) an over zealous microwave).

Now they're taking it to the next level which means throwing bacon and ranch dressing into the mix. As horrible as that sounds, I'd be lying if I told you I didn't feel betrayed when I found out about this one week after I moved.

Other things I hope to do in Nebraska: watch my friend Ryan try to recreate one of these in his kitchen using only ingredients at hand. I'm not joking. Before this week is over I will watch Ryan bite into a misshapen tortilla and claim that his Hot Dog Dorothy Lynch Cheesy is just as good as anything at Amigos.

And then there's this monstrosity from KFC which you might have read about. This is the result of another strange Nebraska dynamic--rampant product tests--which results from the state's largest cities being fairly representative demographically.


This is a sandwich with chicken instead of bread, something that is only being test marketed in Omaha and Providence at the moment. I don't even think I like KFC. I certainly don't like whatever impulse led to the creation of this fried blasphemy. But, I mean, I have to try it. Just like I had to try the McDonald's 3-and-1 one during its brief existence as an upscale alternative to, um, McDonald's. Basically, I've edited my internal monologue as such: But they serve their fries in a basket and have club sandwiches made something impossibly terrible.

I don't know why I'm posting this other than to explain to Dave N. why instead of making it to his wedding I'll be either dead or full, probably both. God help me if Runza has some kind of new mushroom and ham Runza in the works.

Actually, the best part of all of this will be me talking about it all weekend, going to a KFC, having two bites, and then spending the rest of the day talking about how I feel sick and am going to become a vegetarian when I get home.

7 comments:

Mz said...

I'm reading your blog on my pte while bedside in maternity ward. I am disappointed that you have not developed an app for the blog.

Ps that kfc monstrosity looks good after days of jerky and granols bars.

elisabeth said...

KFC tests only in places i have lived, apparently.

A. Peterson said...

MZ - This will explain it when the little guy's nickname is "KFC's limited edition double down sandwich." It is a bit wordy though.

E - You and KFC must target similar demographics.

jimStock said...

KFC Texas has a similar sandwich. Instead of using chicken for bread, they use Yankees.

Elisa Gabbert said...

at first I thought that was a picture of an ice cream sandwich made with scones.

Jaclyn said...

We drove to Auburn after the wedding to get some of these so-called "grown up cheesies" and they were awful. There was almost a riot.

carlinthemarlin said...

The Amigos Soft Taco (beef, not that dry chicken crap) is really the only thing on that menu you need to know about. It pales only to In-&-Out Burger and the original Runza in the pantheon of fast-food items.