On Editing A Novel #16/17
USING YOUR NOVEL TO START A RELIGION/MAKING YOUR NOVEL A NOVELIZATION OF MEGADETH'S 1990 ALBUM RUST IN PEACE. Because, really, they're the same thing.
First, you're going to need a copy of Rust in Peace or at least a track listing (Note: this step does not apply to you if you have ever been in Megadeth and/or have ever seen Dave Mustaine in person). Also, substituting Megadeth's other pun-titled album Youthanasia is possible but not recommended. Using a different band or album is prohibited unless you want your religion/novel to be all wussy (Bon Iver).
Next, it's important that you own a Megadeth t-shirt from their Clash of the Titans world tour. People at your church camps/book signings are going to need to be able to recognize you. If you're having trouble locating a shirt, maybe see if you can find someone from Slayer who has an extra sitting around (one-time drummer Paul Bostaph?).
You're also going to need gothic cover art that makes a vague statement about nuclear annihilation, worldwide political conspiracy, and environmental destruction. Also, this cover art is going to have to have a skeleton guy but not one of those happy dancing skeleton guys like wussier bands use (Okkervil River). A menacing skeleton guy but, you know, one with a bit of a sense of humor about it. This is the most important step of editing your novel.
Your chapters should then be named after song titles from the album and the prose replaced with guitar tablature (Note: it is not important for you to be able to play the songs yourself [further note: as long as you are wearing a 7-string Ibanez shaped like a lightning bolt over your Clash of the Titans t-shirt). Once that is done, you will need to register your novel/songbook/primary religious text and apply for non-profit status with the government. This will be the most bureaucratic step of editing your novel (LCD Soundsystem).
Then you wait until someone asks you what your book says about getting a divorce or if it has any techno-thriller elements. Make them listen to "Hangar 18" until they know the answer.
10.01.2009
Exhibit 21.23
Cross-reference: Davids& Editing& Importantly
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment