12.29.2008

Exhibit 15.4

Let me ask you this, how attractive is Robert Redford? I mean, I get that he's pretty attractive. Nobody here is arguing that he isn't. As much as I have opinions about such things, I'm a Paul Newman guy, but I could understand if you prefer Redford. Fine.

(Ed note: I definitely have opinions about such things).

I ask because over the holiday break I watched Three Days of the Condor--appropriately, it turned out to be a bit of a Christmas movie--and it features perhaps the most unlikely seduction this side of Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts. (Zing! Call me, Jay.)

So Redford is attractive, but is he four-hours-ago-he-stuck-me-up-at-gunpoint-and-then-made-me-drive-home-when-I-was-supposed-to-go-skiing-with-my-very-understanding-boyfriend-in-Vermont-over-Christmas-and-I-thought-he-was-going-to-rape-me-but-now-he-is-telling-me-some-paranoid-story-about-the-CIA-oh-no-he-has-tied-me-up-and-gagged-me-but-is-gone-for-hours-now-he-is-back-and-is-holding-a-gun-to-me-so-that-I-lie-to-my-very-understanding-boyfriend-oh-no-I'm-in-love-with-him-I-hope-I-get-the-opportunity-to-cheat-on-my-very-understanding-boyfriend-with-this-violent-paranoid-maybe-rapist attractive?

If you want to see the (very PG) love scene (now with more wistful saxophones and moody black-and-white photography!) it's on YouTube here. Mostly it's interesting for featuring what Robert Redford's species calls kissing.

It's not what you and I call kissing.

Keep in mind that's what you're in for if he ever puts a gun to your back and starts babbling about the CIA. You can't help it.

1 comment:

Dusty said...

What a hilarious love scene to watch out of context. Empty park benches! A camera lens! I have a total boner....