11.07.2008

Exhibit 14.2

In honor of the election, some political stock photography.


Congressman Wilson was having that dream again, the dream where the microphones were finally coming for him, the dream his psychiatrist said had phallic overtones, the dream he liked to tell the congressional pages about when he took them to get frappuccinos.


Who would have thought a person who ran on an authoritarian platform of creating a shadow army would be the first politician to actually live up to their promises. Still, Chancellor Paine does some good things, too.


"Sometimes, Bob, I don't even know why they have us protecting these balloons armed with comically oversized walkee talkees."

"It's not our place to question it, Roger. We volunteered to supervise the prom, and supervise the prom we will."


This photo could be used with any number of headlines, but I'm pretty sure all of them end in "Sex Scandal Exclusive!"


They laughed when Kwik Shop supervisor Ronald Vote announced his candidacy for mayor until he showed them the town ballot box on election day. What's the worst that could happen, they said.


Well, who doesn't want an army, they muttered anxiously, all too aware that Mayor Vote's taxpayer-funded army consisted of 5 or 10 assault rifles he carried with him everywhere.


When he claimed a 12-year-old girl as his Secretary of War, everyone agreed this was going to a weird place.


Things didn't get better.


Just creepier. Much, much creepier. Nobody liked Mayor Vote, but what could they do? All efforts to oust him from office ended in disaster when they urged the town to get out the Vote.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Chancellor Paine has a lame-ass podium.

Also, "wringame" is my verification word. Part ailment, part hilarious board game?