Exhibit 11.6

I heard the best conspiracy theory last night. Apparently this was relayed by my friend's mother's boyfriend which, naturally, makes it pretty good right out of the gate. Normally I'm not one for mocking someone's irrational fears which generally are a result of ignorance and manipulation as opposed to any actual fault in intelligence or character, but this one was initially couched in terms of Muslim/Obama bashing so I think it's fair game.

The theory: The government is raising gas prices so that her citizens will be so poor that they will be forced to sell their guns to the government. Once the government has all of the guns, the government will--and this was the actual phrase used--"take us over."

God, I love that. Here's hoping.

This is how I see this going down:

America: Damn, I don't have enough money for smokes.
Government: I know how you can get some money.
America: Is this some sort of gay thing?
Government: Pretty much. I want to buy your guns.
America: Gee whiz, jiminy jillickers, I'll be, apple pie.
Government: Come on, we won't take over.
America: Fine then.
Government: We're taking over.
America: So what changes?
Government: You'll have to pay taxes on those smokes.
America: Um, okay. That it?
Government: Well, that and Grand Moff Lieberman, yeah.
America: Whatever. What time is Keeping Up with the Kardashians on?
Government: Never. We took it over.
America/Bruce Jenner: Noooo!!!!!

I think I speak for everyone when I say that scenario would be pretty sweet. Of course, it would be even sweeter if it took less time and were funnier.