Exhibit 4.1

So for about two weeks now, a battle has been raging in the Lincoln Journal Star's letters to the editor page about an article that was published in Spanish (because it was of particular importance to the Spanish-speaking community). Most of the letters were the usual, "I don't pay for a Spanish paper!" followed up by those outraged at the racist and xenophobic nature of the earlier letters. And so on.

The best part of all of this is, of course, the comments section where the argument has continued unabated day after day. I guess there's not much value in pointing out the tragic hilarity of most of these comments, but these two in particular were pretty great yesterday:

• "This is America. We speak ENGLISh here. If you don't like it, LEAVE!! Like the Australians said, "This is OUR country, and if you don't like they way we do things, LEAVE NOW!"

I don't know why this cracks me up so much, but I just love the idea that the Australians all got together and issued a statement like this, especially since it is unclear what they do that newcomers might find objectionable. Could this statement have resulted after a New Zealander put too many shrimp on the barbie? Someone wasn't up for a game of knifey-spooney? A steakhouse manager created rules, not right?

My new rhetorical strategy is to just back up every position with quotes from the Australians.

You: I think things are getting better.
Me: Like the Australians said, "Gonna be a long night."

You: I don't know if I want to go with you.
Me: Like the Australians said, "Least you can do is come see me get my head blown off."

You: All you ever say to me are quotes from Crocodile Dundee II.
Me: Like the Australians said, "This Dundee likes to play games."

You: I feel lonely.
Me:

There's also this one:

• "No one has come up with an answer as to why I (personal myself) have to learn Spanish. I don't know how to play golf, speak Italian (although church services are in Italian), ballet dance etc....So unless you can come up with an important reason why I (personally) need to learn Spanish, then quit trying to tell me I do. I would rather learn cake decorating!"

There's a lot that's funny about that one--um, Italian?--but mostly I love how strongly it comes through that all this person really wants is to learn how to play golf, dance the ballet, and decorate cakes. Their objection isn't at all ethnically motivated, it's simply about how much time they have to devote to hobbies. They've made a personal (themselves) value judgment and decided that: Enjoyment from Spanish < Enjoyment from Ballet Dancing and Cake Decorating.

Sadly, no educational opportunities, social event, or responsiblities as a parent will ever be enough fun to choose it over ballet and cake decorating. This will all end with this person's delinquent children eating piece after piece of beautiful cake which they pluck from the spinning arms of their pirouetting parent.