It's a video I spent 30 minutes making after seeing a spider burying its spider buddy/lover/parent.
Or eat. It also could have been trying to eat its spider buddy/lover/parent. There's that.
* I have a short piece giving some flash fiction bylaws over at Nano Fiction for their State of Flash series. I really do mean all of them. Especially the ones about poor, poor Doug.
* My short short "Biologists Study Grace" is over at Paper Darts and the entire page will soon be tattooed onto my back. Not really. probably. Maybe. Sort of. We'll see. But it is quite pretty.
Almost three years ago I let my facial hair grow for a couple weeks to see if it could, through some previously unseen alchemy, produce a beard. You can follow that experience along here. It was a simpler time, back when I was somehow better at both Photoshop and the decency that allowed me not to post photos of myself on the internet.
Short summary: No, no I could not grow a beard.
This year, with a couple of weeks between a moment of bored despair and the semester beginning, I decided to try again. Here's as good as it got.
The Aubrey Beardlessly
So not good. Better than before--it was prickly, at least--but still worse than guys I knew in middle school. That said, I could at least shave it into some nearly acceptable facial hair configurations.
The Walter Notquite
The Billy D-Minus Williams
The Ask for ID
Who am I kidding, none of those are acceptable. My apologies to everyone who had to look at me for the past two weeks. So pretty much just you, Taco Truck Lady.
New Cupboard Website
So, this is the most exciting news this blog has failed to break in months: The Cupboard has a new website which you can access right here. Things to note:
* We're now publishing original content every couple of weeks called Sideboards. Go read our first then submit one of your own.
* The announcement for our next year's cycle of four volumes. They're really great. Damn. We're excited.
* And, most importantly, we've got the entire year on sale. $12! That's practically $10!
Please read, spread the word, and subscribe.
Tattoo Ideas for Someone Else Sorted by Decreasing Likelihood
James Van Der Beak
En Passant Explanation
Disturbingly Sexualized Corn
Birdo As Problematically Described by Mario 2 Instructions
Lukewarm Review of Most Recent R. Kelly Album
Map of Ansley, Nebraska, for Ansley, Nebraska, Emergencies
The New Cupboard Logo
I Might Be the Only One
who is obsessed with the moment in "Hard Headed Woman" when he belts out that line.
In any case, my early Cat Stevens cover band--The First Cat Is the Deepest--will definitely use that song as the closer of our second encore.